Captain James Rowntree

12th February 1839

On Monday of this week, a Welsh convict named Jones called me “a fair dinkum arsehole”. For such rudeness, I was about to pistol whip him….when Jones quickly started rambling.

The funny thing was that it turns out that “ fair dinkum” actually reverses the insult which follows…So actually by calling me a “ fair dinkum arsehole” he was saying that I am, in some way, the farthest thing possible from being an arsehole.

Feeling quite chuffed with myself, I refrained from beating the man.

I have decided to play along with their folly. In the last few days, I have been called ”a fair dinkum prick, cow tits, dick,” and some other vulgar language that I would not put to paper. It has taken time, but I finally gained the respect of these horrid convicts.

Captain James Rowntree